Surprise Loot!
by Robotic Draconian
Summary: Fighting through waves of bandits, Axton and Zer0 are after a cache of weapons that were supposedly stored in the bandits' base. Maya and Salvador are off at another base, looking for a different cache.


Surprise Loot!

A Nomad strolled through the empty living area of their stronghold, passing by the tents that had been set up to house his brethren. He heard strange noises coming from behind the steel doors, but ignored them, most likely being nothing more than the psychos talking to themselves. The Nomad felt at peace – which felt completely wrong, as it should on Pandora. A sigh was forming within his lounges when a loud _pop_ went through the air, the Nomad's head blowing up into chunks as the sniper's bullet made contact.

Immediately, all at once, bandits poured out onto the floor, jumping over the walkway's railing, either rolling or cratering as as they landed. Screams, yelling and feral shrieks rang throughout the room.

Zer0 lowered his gun, wanting to see the full chaos that his shot had spurred. He glanced to his right to see Axton walking over to his position. "Just couldn't hold yourself back, could you?" The Commando smiled, pulling out his assault rifle. The Assassin answered the question by looking back down his scope and blowing another bandit's head into chunks.

Axton's comm. link opened, Maya speaking over the sounds of gunshots. _"Axton! Are you and Zer0 at your mission area yet?"_

Zer0 took another shot downing a psycho midget, "Yep." Axton replied smugly. "How're things on your end?"

The Siren's voice crackled over the comm. Link, "Oh, same as always."

"Good to hear." Axton chuckled as his companion took out yet another bandit, finally alerting the bandits to their position. "Uh, gotta go." Axton didn't wait for an answer and simply cut the link.

"They're coming." Zer0 stated dryly.

Axton raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, I see that." He threw out his turret, the small gadget opening up to reveal the double-barreled machinery that quickly cut down hoards of bandits. "Hah! How do you like that?!" He turned to where Zer0 had been, the Assassin no longer there – but his rifle was. "Zer0?"

...

Zer0 now stood in front of the oncoming psychos, nothing but his sword in hand. The first one came within swinging distance, bringing down his pizza-cutter-thing for the Assassin's neck. Zer0's body glitched and the blade passed through him. The psycho stared at the hologram in bewilderment. He did this for only a moment though, as his head was sliced off, having been severed by the invisible Zer0's blade. The hologram disappeared, the real Assassin now visible.

The bandits began swarming him immediately, bullets passing right through his body. They knew what would happen, but they had no idea from where, though they soon found out, as another psycho in the front was decapitated, and yet another hologram was deployed. This process was repeated several times, the bandits now just shooting randomly around their quarters.

Axton whistled as Zer0's form appeared next to him, the Assassin picking up his rifle up from the ground. "Your turn." Zer0 said, crouching down with his weapon.

Axton smiled, jumping down from the metallic Cliffside he had been standing on the entire time. The bandits all turned to the Commando, finally realizing that the Assassin was gone.

...

Maya wasn't surprised that Axton had hung up on her, the sound of Zer0 shooting prior to the premature of their talk giving her a pretty big clue as to what happened; that they'd been found out.

The Siren braced herself up against the crate that she had been hiding behind as bullets ricocheted off of the metal container. A bruiser was closing in on Maya's position, so she quickly popped out – her shield deflecting the shotgun blast – and used phaselock to lift him into the air, and him back down – thirteen times.

Salvador was in the middle of the fray, shooting off two assault rifles and laughing like a maniac.

...

Axton stood back-to-back with his beloved turret, shooting down every bandit that came within range. Zer0 quickly got bored just watching and began shooting down bandits from afar. They collapsed in heaps of blood and bullets, dropping into piles.

When the last one fell Axton let out a sigh of relief, "Phew! Good thing that's over – I'm out of ammo."

"Badass." Zer0 said, his head pointed towards the sky.

Axton chuckled, "I am pretty badass, aren't I?" Immediately afterward a Nomad dropped down, bearing a shield with a midget strapped to it, "Incoming badass!"

"That's what I said." Zer0 replied, his body glitching for a moment, the hologram charging for the Nomad, slashing. Axton shrugged, chucking a grenade, which bounced off the shield, exploding with fire as it made contact.

The midget burned to death but the Nomad was left pretty much intact. Axton took aim, but before he could pull the trigger – which wouldn't have mattered, as he was out of ammo – the Nomad dropped his shield, Zer0's blade popping out from his gut. The Assassin dislodged his blade, letting the enemy fall to the ground.

Zer0 pointed to the other end of the room with his thumb, where their objective lied. "Let's go." Without waiting for an answer, the Assassin turned around and walked off, Axton following in right beside him.

Axton opened up his comm. Link, hearing Mata's voice on the other side. _"We're finished on our end. You?"_

"Of course. We just need to pick up our _shipment_, and we'll head straight for Sanctuary."

"_Good. We'll see you there."_ The Siren's voice crackled one more time before disappearing, shutting down the comm. Link.

Axton smiled as he saw a large chest, "There it is." Zer0 simply nodded, pressing the button that opened the container.

The chest decompressed, the lid sliding open, a platform within the container rising to give people an easier time of retrieving its contents.

The chest opened up, revealing a large amount of…skag…vomit.

"Zer0?" The Assassin sighed. "Why do bandits have this stored in a chest?"

"I don't know."

The two stared at the pile in silence. Axton's comm. link started up once again. _"Axton?"_ Maya's voice crackled.

"Yeah?"

"_Why do these bandits have skag vomit sealed within their chests?"_

"I don't know." Axton replied, the comm. crackled one last time as the Commando and Siren sighed in unison.

The End!

* * *

**Just a short story I wrote in my spare time. **


End file.
